Tag: humour

Running, 2022: Beyond form

Written on December 31, 2022. Posted in Journal. 2 Comments on Running, 2022: Beyond form

It’s hard to define precisely what makes good running form. Like neat handwriting, you just know it when you see it. At its best, running form is balanced, free-flowing and controlled, like cursive. The posture is upright, steadied by core-strength. Most diagnostically, there is an aura of calm. Fact is: some of us run picturesque. And fact is: I am not one of them. I attend to my running form as much as someone escaping a house fire. The general style suggests panic, exhaustion and...

A Field Guide to Whacking Squirrels and Marrying Trees

Written on November 20, 2020. Posted in Journal.

Cycling to Devon was my plan B. I’d considered running there first, a bit earnest, I know. I’d gone so far as to research running-rucksacks online (and therefore: too far) before deciding that it was not a smart way to move 150 miles. Running with a rucksack is not kind to shoulders or vertebrae, plus trust me when I say this: the chafing is outrageous (And I’ve cycled around the world, which is to say: I know a lot about chafing). The August bank holiday weekend was looming, summer’s...

How to lose friends, write books and ignore people

Written on June 16, 2017. Posted in Journal.

Put on your ‘writing jumper’. It’s oversized, woolly and you found it behind the dressing gowns at Scope. Forget that it still smells of a gouty pensioner. Breathe. Feel powerful. You are ready to begin.CoffeeHave a shot of hot water if you drool any of the grounds.Limber up: Look about your room and create luminous, poetic similes. The widow shines like a pair of shiny glasses in the glassy sun. The can of coke is crepuscular, like an isotope of beryllium. The sunrise was bloody, like a road...

My mum loves Levison Wood

Written on August 15, 2016. Posted in Journal. 3 Comments on My mum loves Levison Wood

My mum loves Levison Wood. In case you’ve been on hiatus from our star system, Levison is an adventurer. Channel 4 follow him about as he does venturesome things. ‘He’s such an adventurous guy’ my mum says. ‘Mum’ I begin, steadily. ‘I’ve been cycling around the world for six years.’ ‘I know, I know darling’ she says, before lapsing into a reverie. ‘But he’s so handsome, isn’t he?’ She follows him on Twitter. It makes me wonder when she’s going to follow me. ‘Oh, are you...